One shots
by smile123DEAD
Summary: this is just a series of one shots between OCxyu yu hakusho characters the one posted now is Hiei. The genera these should really be under is drugs and sex.


I smoke a bowl with a master 17:41

Ever wake up feeling like its just one of those days? I do all the time. The days I'm referring to of course are those days where there is nothing better than laying around in your pajamas all day snuggled into a blanket. It's a day that feels like if you are asked to move it's the quest of a century and its better that you just don't. Anything more than what your doing now is just an unnecessary task.

Unfortunately this was not the place to be inactive. Its master Genkai's temple and even though she wasn't training me, she was allowing me to stay here for the time being, which means I had to do chores. So I did the only thing I could do …try to convince her otherwise. I crawled out of bed with my blanket wrapped around me and knocked on her bedroom door. She opened it slowly, "what the hell do you want?"

"Genkai today is a day for laziness to be explored I think you and I should do nothing all day and sit on the couch while watching movies"

"and why would I do that"

"because its one of those days"

Now mind you Yukina had gone to the city with the girls last night to stay for the weekend so as of now it was just Genkai and i.

Genkai looked at me with her old wise eyes. "You're having a green day and all you want to do is sit in bed and eat pizza"

"Add some blunts and tequila to that request…and it sounds like a beautiful day."

Now no one but Genkai and I smoked pot in the group and none of them really knew that we did (except maybe Kurama). She's old and I'm ancient it just seemed like the right drug to ease day to day life.

"We can fishbowl and you know you want to. You were walking with a limp all day your joints are stiff because its cold and you know there has never been a better time."

"Alright you've convinced me."

"I knew you'd see it my way."

"What movie do you want to watch?" "Hmm that's a great question…what's a good stoner movie…Disney…the lion king"

She looked a little perplexed by this

"Just trust me once were stoned it will be the greatest thing ever witnessed."

"Alright" she said skeptically

So we packed onto the couch two rolled blunts were on the coffee table along with a bubbler, a pipe, and of course my lighter, sparrow.

I put the lion king in the vcr (like I stated old and ancient), pressed play and lit the blunt.

"the boys aren't coming up today right"

"no they don't visit me that much anymore…"

"Oh poor sad Genkai… here the blunts lit take your hit" I said handing her the blunt. The smell of a strawberry dutch and the smoky haze of marijuana filed the air. It was a beautiful sight. And then I heard it

HAAAA Sigretinya bedibie bedibo setmiN~yana

… a great sound.

"I swear child your going to turn me into a 5 year old"

"Your only sixty … why are you calling me a child? I'm like babilliongillioungillion years old, when you get to be my age you realize childhood is a _**GREAT**_ age." I said taking the blunt and taking one DEEEP ASS hit and holding it in. I slowly let it out in Genkai's direction and she inhaled a little bit before coughing. She cleared her throat and said "I'm fine and you're only what nineteen right now 20?"

"Yeah but seeing as how 1. I remember all my "past" lives and I am a witch that's my age and also how old my power is". I win I thought smugly to myself taking another hit of the blunt.

" Still you're young"

"only you're perception, I've been living life long before your soul was born…Want to smoke a bowl?"

As Hakuta Matata came on we had the bowl packed and Genkai was taking her hit. By now the room was FILLED with smoke and it made me very happy. I looked over at Genkai and she sat there a very VERY satisfied grin on her face.

"See you don't need the boys! You got me… I'm like that corrupted grand-daughter you never knew you had, who gets you HIGH AS A KITE",

I said emphasizing the last part really fast to trip her up a little bit.

She laughed.

"WEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEE A PUMBAH BUMBAWIYYYYYYYY." She sang out trying to copy the song

"A wimah a whimah awimha awimah me awimah we awihhhamm mumba weeeh" I sang back to here.

This went on until we finished the bowl which took us somewhere to the end right abouts when Simba was running back to face Scar. Then Genkai looked at me and I looked back at her and by now I was to stoned to really think about much but that look in her eyes told me she was thinking the same thing I was. She took a bag of this orangy crystal weed...I had not a clue what it was.

"Fill your bubbler up I have a surprise for you."

I abided of course grabed my bubbler which already had water in it and packed a bowl of the bag she handed me.

"What is this stuff?"

I asked while packing a bowl. I light it up and took a hit just as she said "Alaskan thunder fuck".

I almost chocked on the hit and went into a coughing fit.

"Holy shit we're in Japan ... how the fuck did you get that?"

I said handing her the bubbler and the lighter. You're not supposed to be able to move when this shit hits your system (for knowledge of the general public).

"I have my ways. And besides you wanted a lazy day didn't you?"

"Yes"

"Well then just enjoy"

_**FOUR HOURS LATER**_

and I could not move …Litterally … I could not move I was STONED! Genkai and I were both stretched out on the couch underneath the blankets. Today was a good day. Today was a great day! Today was one of the best days possible. The smoke hadn't completely cleared yet but that was fine. I just lay there watching TV.

Then I heard a noise to be more particular I heard a knock . I glanced over at Genkai and neither of us were in any condition to move. Luckily being a witch and all I really wouldn't have to work a muscle.

~who do you think is here?~

I projected my thoughts into Genkai's mind

~I don't care I'm not getting the door..~

~Neither am I, I'm just going back to watching tv I'm _**too**_ STONED FOR THE SHIT~

Then the door opened, now I didn't bother to look but from the smell I could tell it was Hiei, the very distinctive scent of fire, then the smell of roses hit my nose, then the stink of city hit my nose twice. It was the boys…son of a bitch…we just got caught with the paraphernalia out n all. Oh well.

"What are you guys sick or something"

Yuskue asked clearly not recognizing anything that was on the table.

"No dimwit were just lounging around do we look sick" Genkai said out loud. To my utter shock the old woman was still breathing after all that.

I looked over at the boys my hazy mind processing the fact that they were there. And then I looked specifically at Kurama who looked back at me with that knowing look that someone who knows you are GONE give you. Bastard probably smelt a mile away. Next time I'm making him join in the fun.

Light sparked in Kurama's eye and I could see he was about to fuck with me.

Then I looked over at Hiei who as far as I had known never smelled anything but the scent of cigarettes before and I could see in his eyes he knew something was up. He looked over at Kurama and then at me and then back at kurama with this look that asked to have the situation explained to him. Kurama winked back. They were so going to enact some sort of evil scheme on me. Damn I just hoped it wouldn't hurt.

"So who wants _PIZZA_?" Kurama asked_. _The rat bastard.

"I do I do" Yuskue and Kuwabara simultaneously said out loud with way to much enthusiasm for the state I was in right now. You have got to be kidding me. I'm to stoned to move and they're about to hang one of the best stoner meals in front of me…I wonder if he would go far enough to get cheesecake?

…why is chesecake named cheesecake I thought it wasn't made of chesse…

Anyway the very taste of food on my tounge seemed like the sweetest prospect in the world besides sweet snow. To bad I could not move. So I registered my complaints the best way I knew how.

~KURAMA~ i thought projecting my thoughts into his head ~you know you want to go get that pizza and bring me some and feed me because I deffffffffffinitly _**can not **_move~

~why~ he thought back

~Alaskan thunder fuck … and I love you we should go have tequila on the beach sometime but not today because that requires movement and I can't handle that ~

I didn't notice but Hiei caught on to this convo and started to chuckle darkly…son of a bitch

~So onna you can't move? ~ Hiei asked in my head

~clearly not but I am hungry can you please just put pizza in my mouth and move my jaw for me …~

Ha hiei barked out loud. Well there goes that prospect.

~ I hate all of you~ I thought probably sounding about as convincing as a newborn puppy saying it was about as ugly as as as…hmm are there ugly dogs…what is ugly…Ugh I give up thinking was just to much work at this moment.

~if you're going to sit there and taught me than can you at least put on the beetles, the greatful dead, or Red hot chilie pepers so I can close my eyes and experience the music and all the brilliance it produces in my head like pretty colors and sounds and no work can that happen nowish~ I projected the thought to the two unsympathetic demons

~Onna why should we make this easier on you?~

~Cuz you really are a good kind soul way, way down there~

~So you really can't move or is it that you won't move?~ ~

won't can't what does it really matter can't you be the nice guy I know you are deep down inside and do everything I ask you~

~No~ came the firedemon's reply ~but I will do you a favor~ he said in my head very creepily like. I should have been scarred but for the moment I couldn't care less which I knew I would regret later.

~Ok I accept this as a favor~ Before I even finished the thought I was up and off the couch without the blanket and thrown over Hiei's shoulder.

"Put me down I don't want to fly! I want blankets, tv, and pizza! Kurama take me from him and put me back on the couch please!" Hiei chuckled darkly and Kurma just shook his head. Couldn't they leave my highness alone and me with it. Hiei walked out of the room with me like that and walked right outside and very unceremoniously dumped me on the ground.

Normally he wouldn't have gotten the chance but seeing as how all the sensations felt really cool and I was to stoned to move I did not care. I just looked up at the sky which was in the state of gray early evening and winter.

~Why am I on the grass with no blanket in the middle of winter~

Looking up at the sky I saw a sick looking world with the trees around me deep in winter hibernation. It was dreary. I began to feel cold and part of me wanted to move indoors again and the other part just wanted to not move because somehow the ground was comfy.

~If your going to keep me out her the least you can do is make sure I don't freeze to death~ I thought to the demon.

"Hn" was the only response I got.

A few minutes or hours later I couldn't really tell and I felt really warm, Hiei got closer to me enough to keep me warm with his fire demon temperature. His cheek was only a few inches from mine. Time for my revenge, So I turned my head and licked him. He tasted like salt and earth. But what seemed like a good way to get back at him at the time (which happens so often when I'm stoned) quickly turned into a bad idea when he was pressing his Katana to my throat and stradiling my body. Hmm this is intriguing…I can totally phyc him out with out even breaking a sweat. I re adjusted myself under him so that one of my legs was on top oh his between his knee and his calf. It was slowly getting darker outside

" This is how it starts two lovers in the dark" You said slowly moving your hips under him and he just pressed his Katana harder which only gave me more incentive to sing.

"I think that we can stay here because I feel our time has come and we can walk down to the ocean and sit with the rising sun now unpack your bags this instant no more running from town to town and now that we've arrived so salftely Baby you can lay me down …. Lay me down . lay me down. Lay me dowwwwwwwwn."

I sang emphasizing the last part by bucking my hips into his. That caught him off guard… a LOT and he made the funniest expression I had seen on his face of shock. He pressed his sword closer to my throat but it wasn't drawing blood yet. As he did this he leaned his face in a lot closer with a growl at the back of his throat I bucked again and that sent his lips crashing into mine.

It was just an accidental kiss that I had completely planned and as he was still shocked at what I had done I took FULL advantage of his current state and shoved my tongue down his throat. That probably sounded more violent than it was but the fact was my tongue was down his mouth. Which definitely pulled him out of his shocked state. But I wasn't ready to let this go yet. I bucked again sending him deeper into the kiss also sending his sword to draw a thin line of blood he shifted slightly to put less pressure on the sword meanwhile my hand came free. That's it he's in for it. I grabbed his sword hilt with my newly freed hand while thrusting my hips so that I flipped him.

His sword was to his throat his neck was exposed and I was half straddling him now half just laying on top of him. My knee was somewhere in the middle of his calf. My pelvic bone was pushing into his and I felt something very hard. No it wasn't a banana. Though why a banana would be in someone's pants in the first place is beyond me. While all this was going on I didn't break this kiss. A growl was working its way from somewhere in the back of his throat. That didn't stop me though from taking it further. As blood from the cut on my throat was dripping down onto his sword and consequently forming a line on his neck I took my free hand and ran up the length of his inner thigh all the way up to his very hard crotch which made him buck hard. Yup I had done my job well. I broke this kiss and got up while still holding the sword to his throat.  
"Hiei 0 Me 2 while high! I Win! You can't phyc me out like that when I'm high but you can always be psyched out by that beyotch" I may have taken it to far because his eyes were burning with may an emotion I was to fucked up to tell exactly which they were though.

With speed I just didn't see I was suddenly up against a tree with my arm twisted behind my back with Hiei's body pushing into mine. The sword was no longer in my hand. But it wasn't in his either. His tongue ran over my wound then slivered his way up to my check as he reached over to my inner thigh and slide his hand all the way up. Mother fucker electricity shoot through my body in the most arousing and invigorating way possible but he wasn't going to win. With my free arm I elbowed him in the solar plexus hard enough to make him grunt and step back enough to give me room to turn into him when his grip loosened. I spun his back into the tree with my twist and was able to pin his entire body with mine my arm against the flat of his neck.

"Like I said I win. I can walk away without being embarrassed or losing my pride but you can't especially with Kurama watching your strike out." I said icily and lifted my eyebrows. He looked behind me to see Kurama watching from the doorway with one of the most satisfied smirks I had ever seen. It was a smirk that could only happen when a guy has just watched a really hot sex scene and someone get terribly burned.

"Plus I creped you out twice" I said while letting go of him and walking back to the house with a little wag in my hips and a very pleased air about myself. As I passed Kurama I saw a golden glint in his eyes. I smirked completely satisfied and clicked my tongue while winking as I passed him.

"Sometimes youth is better than experience Kurama, now will you please go and order that pizza, I want chesses."

Bitch! I added mentally emphasizing that he didn't really have a choice. And by the end of all this I was still very _**STONED! **_

My next mission was to get them both stoned with me. Demon munchies anyone?


End file.
